Stop beating yourself up


“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” -Buddha

You probably know someone who is always putting him, or herself down. I spot this kind of behaviour even online — it’s not that hard if you pay attention to your Twitter or Facebook feed.

Please, let’s not confuse playing the victim, with genuinely asking for help. There is a huge difference there.

There’s nothing wrong with asking for help

If you feel like you need some help, there’s absolutely no shame in that. It’s important to remember that you’re never alone, no matter what.

You would be surprised by the amount of help others are willing to give. Yes, even over the internet. Yes, even from complete strangers that live halfway across the globe.

The internet is a powerful tool. But you must also be aware of the risks of opening yourself up online. It’s needless to say that there are plenty of people who are more than willing to hurt you for no reason at all. Use common sense when sharing about your private life.

Respect yourself

Learning how to respect ourselves at all times can be challenging. In fact, most of us will never learn it.

It’s easy to have self-respect when you’re doing good. Now, try it when you’ve done a huge mistake. Not that easy, uh?

No, not easy. But it’s necessary.

You and me, we’re not machines. We’re not meant to go through life without making mistakes.

It doesn’t matter how hard you try. You will make new mistakes.

“So, you’re saying I should tap myself on the back after I screw up?”

Well, yes and no.

You should definitely learn from that mistake. Try to figure out what went wrong. The “tap on the back” is for having the courage to have tried.

Notice how I said, “You will make new mistakes.”,  this is important. Making the same mistakes, many times, is just plain ignorance  — in my opinion, period. If something is not working, we have to change it.

Punishing yourself for not getting it right will do no good. It will only make it harder to get it right the next time.

You will always be your toughest critic — and this is a great thing, as long as you are also your greatest friend.

Beating yourself up is a quick, and guaranteed method to set yourself up for failure, frustration, and even depression.

We all face bad days, we all have problems to deal with.

Can you imagine what life would be like without the challenges?

Boring comes to my mind.

If you expect your life to be problem free, you’re bound to feel disappointed. This is specially true if you’re trying to control everything that happens around you.

Accept that you can’t control most of the circumstances. Don’t beat yourself up when things go out of control, remember that they were never under your control in the first place.

When things go wrong, try to see it from a different point of view. Learn from it. Move on.

Beating yourself up will never result in a positive outcome.

About the author

Rod Gomes

I'm sharing my passion for personal growth, self-awareness, and development of the human potential. I have devoted the last 6 years of my life to studying this potential and applying what I have learned as often and as well as possible.

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By Rod Gomes

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